How do you tell a 3-year old kid that his Daddy will no longer be around to bring him to Timezone?
Only a week after they celebrated Father’s Day, my niece lost her husband in a most violent manner. Their kids – the younger one not even a year old, lost their father forever. They were together not more than four years, a young couple going through the ups and downs of building a bright, happy and secured future for themselves and their children. And then it was all over in a few minutes one early Saturday morning. It was so sudden, so unexpectedly brutal that we could not even begin to comprehend the gravity of the crime committed against this very young family.
At half past one in the morning of 27 June 2009, Douglas Duane Javier Lim – Dingdong to family and friends, went home to get ready for work. Work for him was the graveyard shift at the airport as a Special Agent of the Bureau of Immigration. As he always did, he went down his car in front of their house in Bahay Toro in Quezon City and opened the gate. He then went back to the car, parked it inside the open garage and then went down again to close the gate.
Three successive gunshots punctuated the night air. Roused from sleep, his brother rushed outside to check the noise coming from the garage. Although still dazed, he saw two men by the gate and another one driving the car out of the garage. They pointed the gun at him with the menacing look of the devil ready to drag him to hell. Then the two men then also boarded the car, all three of them now on the front seats, and they fled into the dark. Still too shocked and bewildered by what had just happened, he rushed to where the men had left Dingdong.
Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.
Dingdong was sprawled face down in the small walkway leading to the side of the house. He was bleeding profusely. His father and another brother, who had also gone out of the house by then, rushed the barely breathing Dingdong to the hospital. Although very weak from massive loss of blood, he managed to complain how hard it was for him to breath. And then he closed his eyes for the last time. Twenty minutes after he was admitted to the emergency room of the Capitol Medical Center, he was declared dead due to the gunshot wounds he sustained during the attack.
In what may have been less than 5 minutes, 34 years of a beautiful and promising life got ended violently. Nobody saw what really happened during those fatal minutes. The autopsy indicates gunpowder burn on his left hand. He could have held on to the gun when it fired, wounding his palm and wrist. There were also 2 shots in the chest, with one puncturing his lungs. Of the 2 chest wounds, one was inflicted while he had his back turned away from the gunman, and the other was inflicted while he was already sprawled on the pavement. The fatal shot went through the side of the abdomen, slicing through his liver, intestines and right kidney.
From this autopsy report, we can only try to painfully reconstruct those horror-filled final moments of his life: When he was already closing the gate, the three men suddenly barged in with a gun pointed at him. Startled, he might have tried to deflect the gun with his left hand. He was not left-handed, but it was the free hand at that time as he was probably using his right hand to close the sliding gate. The gun went off the first time while he was still holding it by the barrel, piercing his palm and wrist and then going though his abdomen area. Although already wounded, he might have attempted to run away from his attackers. As he turned his back and made a dash for the house, the gunman shot him again. He could have fallen down, but still tried to make it to the house. The gunman still went after him, and with another merciless shot hit him in the chest while he was already down and bleeding.
And then as quickly as they came, they fled using Dingdong's own car as the getaway vehicle. The lone guard at the gate claims there were no other vehicles coming in or out at around the time of the crime. Nor did he find it strange that three unfamiliar men, who do not include Dingdong, would suspiciously squeeze themselves in the front seat and drive like madmen through the exit.
The men who attacked Dingdong did not just leave behind a dying man. They also ended the hopes and aspirations of a young family who now must mourn his untimely death even as they ponder a future without a husband and a father. Theirs was a family just beginning to find its roots. Theirs was a love that have sailed through rough waters, and made it through each time. Theirs was a dream that was just starting to unfold. With 3 shots of a gun, all these were gone.
It was a story straight out of the daily tabloids, the kind of news that screams out of our TV newscasts to feed on the insatiable hunger of the masses for sensationalized police stories. We smugly dismiss them as those things make us shrug our shoulders – shit happens to people, tough luck. We become complacent, jaded and apathetic even. Until it happens to us, or to people dear to us. Then suddenly we realize that just like everyone else, we are fair game to criminals lurking in our streets, in the dark corners of our communities and even in the what is supposed to be safe havens of our homes - like vultures waiting for the right time to strike.
On Thursday, we sent Dingdong off to his final resting place. The endless rows of flower offerings and the many people who came to condole with the family at all hours of the day are testament to Dingdong's endearing and enduring ties with people he touched during his lifetime. When we looked at his fallen body for the last time, we remember his mischievous laughter, his ready smile and warm embraces and the many memories we shared in the short time he was part of our families. He leaves behind a grieving family and friends who must come to terms with not just the sudden loss, but more so with the senselessness of it all.
When asked if he wants to go to Timezone, Dingdong's little boy shook his head. Asked why not, he simply said, “Daddy’s gone”.
A husband, a father, a son, a brother, an uncle, a friend is gone - so soon and so painfully. So is our mistaken notion that we are safe in our own homes. Will we ever feel safe again?
I lost an Uncle.
ReplyDeleteA gentleman.
Based on the story above it seems that the gunmen made sure he would not live another day because he saw their faces. In our case before during the akyat bahay days...it was the squatters living in nearby communities who knew us and we knew them for more than 4 years.
God bless your soul...God bless you Dingdong
My deepest condolences
Miss Dorothy Lim Wolfe Brown
Thanks Ding for all the help few years back...
ReplyDeleteMay your soul rest in peace my friend!
Jo
"I know for certain that we can never lose the people we truly love, even after death. They continue to be there in each and every act, and play their role in any decision we make. They leave an inerasable imprint in our memories. We always find comfort in knowing that how sharing their love had enriched our lives.
ReplyDeleteYou do not get over it easily, you just get through it. You do not get by it, because you can't get around it. It could not get better; it just keeps on getting different each day. Everyday... Grief puts you a new face...."
To my brother-in-law..whom we have deeply loved... indeed a great uncle to one of my angels in life...
God bless you Kuya Dingdong...We will truly miss you....
RIP Kuya Dingdong... you will be surely missed by all of us.
ReplyDeleteMay the road rise up to meet you, may the wind be ever at your back. May the sun shine warm upon your face and the rain fall softly on your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the hollow of his hand.
ReplyDeleteWe love you ding.
ate lovy, itay & family, tita letty, kuya jeng and family
its been a day since i laid you to rest, i know i promised to be strong but missing you is the hardest thing i have to deal with for the rest of my life...i know how upset you get whenever i would cry-whatever reason, it upsets you so much you stay away until the tears stop falling...honey, i'm trying my very best to stop because i know it pains you to see me this way, i hold on to the memory of your smile, the way your touch sends tingles down nmy spine even after 7 years from we first met, now i miss how you tease me about my weight but also reassuring me how much you will still love me even if i get as big as a blimp...i felt how much you loved me when your friends talked about how i was the apple of your eye so much so that even after some people had the gall to plow seeds of doubt and intrigue about your fidelity at your wake...I hold on to our love, to our promise; and once again I chose to believe, to hold on to what my heart, my soul and my entire being tells me to: that you loved me deeply, faithfully and completely...you are my strength and i will continue to hold on to the memory of our life together even as i struggle to build a life on my own with JD and Lia...btw, honey Lia couldn't stop kissing and touching you picture, she loves her daddy so much! I have a long way to go but I am not afraid because I know I am not alone, you continue to be by my side in the form of your family, your friends all of whom have overwhelmed me with the love thay have for you...I love you, hon.
ReplyDeleteJennifer Concepcion-Lim
He's a good friend. Always wearing a smile. Mr. nice guy.
ReplyDeleteWe will be missing you, Duane.
Our deepest condolences to his family.
Ding, I was not there at the day of interment but I attended each day before I left plus I have a blow-by-blow account of what transpired courtesy of my jenny, alvin & his gargantuan tinks, joey . I just finished my presentation which I will deliver this July 9 here in NICC Training Center, Tokyo, Japan, as part of the requirements of the management training course. I dedicate to you my presentation. Wish me luck and I am quoting hereunder the dedication for convenience, to wit:
ReplyDeleteDEDICATION
To my fiend Ding, the long arms of the law, human or Divine,
will reach them sooner or later, in this lifetime or the next, and
the proverbial gavel will not hesitate to once again serve JUSTICE,
WE PROMISE YOU THAT
Our million folds of thanks for your gift of friendship, smile and
laughter...we never run out of jokes
ito pahabol oh...reserve mo naman kami upuan dyan
Some of us will go to heaven first...
Ding, every night as we lay our heads on the pillow,we could soundly sleep and at peace knowing you are happily beside HIM now
Our prayers without relent...
may you have peace in eternal repose.
junie
sorry ding.. didn't go to your wake, I wanted to remember you smiling forever. I guess I wanted to cheat myself from thinking that this had really happened. I never got to thank you for being a great friend during one of the darkest hour of my life. I feel so much for your children and wife. Truly you are a great loss. Rest in peace dear friend..
ReplyDeletewith all the questions left unanswered, it's still your smile that we remember most.. my husband lost a brother... i lost a friend.. our soon to be born daughter lost a godfather.. all of us suddenly felt incomplete... i don't know how to explain our sleepless nights... but with all the sorrows and pains we hold in our hearts, we still hope and pray that justice will trully be served... we love you ding! we will always be here for your family especially for your wife and kids...rest in peace our dear friend...
ReplyDeleteIt has been weeks since your last text message. I miss you so much Dinx. You have always been the easiest to run to whenever I was down.
ReplyDeleteI'll never forget our debates over silly things. Those times when you'd make me move to the back seat of the car because you wanted my seat in front. And of course, I'll never forget the countless times you comforted me and begged me to stop crying whenever Tonio and I fought.
You have been a real friend to me, to us. It's just sad that I've never really had the chance to tell you, knowing you, I'm sure you'll be so happy to hear that. Well, to make it up to you, I promise to be here for the ones you loved the most. Of course Tito and Tita, most esp, Jen and the kids. K? Quits?
And sana naman now that you're up there, mapakapal mo na ulit yung hair mo ha. (",) Love you Dinx. Miss you.
Nikki
It's only tonight that I heard the news and I am still in complete shock.
ReplyDeleteYou are a sweet, fun-loving and caring man.
It is true that your smile and laughter is hard to forget.
May you find peace in your Creator's company.
You will truly be missed.
I will pray for you....and for those you have left behind.
Sorry I was not able to say goodbye...
so maybe, "i'll see you someday"....
Rest in Peace Dingdong.
Your always in my prayers D.
ReplyDeleteDear Pare
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, thank you for spending 8 good years with me as my pare and my loving bestfriend. Let me also say I'm sorry I wasn't able to tell you that I love the way you always pick on me everytime we see each other. I love the way you made me kulet during the wee hours just to ask me if I'm still awake. I love it that you were always the first to greet me on special occasions (always a few days before my birthday dahil ayaw mong maunahan ka ng iba). I love that we share the same sentiments on lasagna and Yellow Cab Pizza. I appreciate the times when you used to wait til I closed our resto at 3am so you can drive me home. I love it when you text me quotes about love and friendship. Crazy as it may seem, I love it when you laugh at my clumsiness and laugh at me when I'm being sentimental. I love how you see the good in me during tough times. I have also learned to love cheesy Tagalog movies because of you. And I am so sorry I never get to thank you and tell you how much you mean to me. I hope you can forgive me for not being able to tell you all these things when you were still here Pare. No one will ever call me "mare" they way you do. I miss you big time..
I continuously pray for justice and for your eternal salvation.
Happy Birthday Pare..I love you.
Rest in peace.
K
Happy birthday D! i am a day late.. but sabi mo nga its better late than later.. :)
ReplyDeleteyour always in my thoughts and prayers.
i dreamt about you again the other night and true to your ever seloso form, the only thing that stuck to memory was how you held both my hands and told me "mag-asawa tayo" don't worry hon, you will always be my better half, I still and will prefer to be introduced as your wife, not your widow...JD is excited to see what you sent thru santa for him, as promised I have worked on fulfilling all our christmas dreams this year-we have our first christmas tree-since we never found the time to have one before-and the gift you promised JD last year, the motor bike is wrapped and tucked away until santa is ready to give it to him on christmas eve...you know how tired I am but I have to double every effort to make this christmas merry for me and the kids because I know this is what you wanted, you were a "holidays" person all around, don't worry I didn't forget your inaanaks...Lia always calls out "daddy" whenever she is left alone in the crib or playing with her toy phone so I know you are always beside her,looking after your princess...with that I send you a kiss, a hug and a prayer Merry Christmas honey!
ReplyDeletejen
My condolences to the family he left behind.
ReplyDeleteRest in peace, Dingdong...
i miss you...
ReplyDeleteYour never forgotten... Still praying for your justice
ReplyDeleteDouglas was a friend from way back during our high school days at Grace Christian High School. A very energetic and thoughtful guy. We didn't keep in touch after high school and I now have my regrets. I have been living abroad and just found out what happened around 2 years ago and I WAS SHOCKED. Now as we are all getting older, I often reminisce of the days that have passed, and I suddenly remembered Douglas again and search the web and found this online tribute. I know this is a very late comment but I want to post this to prove that he is not forgotten. To Douglas, you are missed pare.... To his family, my sincerest condolences to your loss. I am sure those three people that did this to Douglas already got what they deserve one way or the other.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday Ding. We miss you so much...
ReplyDeleteDD... ��
ReplyDelete